Busy Signal

Life's very busy right now, and I like it. It's kind of inspiring when that happens. I have enough work to last all day (and then some), almost every day. I have new contracts coming up and plenty of things to write. I feel brimming with new ideas and about to work the creative stuff back into my life again full stop. I have some exciting personal things happening and coming up (I hope, that is). I feel balanced again more often than not. I can put things aside that stress me out without worrying I'm neglecting something else (at least this week). I'll admit, I haven't even kept to my meditation project. From failure comes success ... ?

The "very best that I can possibly do" feeling isn't so bad, and it doesn't really happen for me unless I'm blindly busy, because when there's not a moment to spare in the day, I can't ever say a misuse of time was a problem. Eventually, the daily clock just runs out, and I have to be satisfied with what was accomplished. So, bring it on.

As promised, food glorious food ...

Yesterday's meal was quite the success, and today I'm finding myself reminiscing about it (especially since I have so much frustrating busywork on my desk this morning so far).

Here are some beautiful photos, taken by my friend Emily, who takes the prettiest, most delicious pictures of food I've ever seen.

Speaking of old ladies ...

Although Friday I definitely acted like a young person, the rest of my weekend has been pretty much spent proving that I will make a great old lady once it comes to that. Yesterday I spent in doing a little cleaning, napping, shopping for items on today's menu. This morning I got up early to bake a cranberry pie (which is in the oven as I type). My friend Emily and I are doing another one of our theme brunches today, although this particular meal doesn't have the same level of thematic planning as others in the past (like "Luccipalooza, for example). It's more of a "The Main Event is Duck, so Let's Make a Bunch of Stuff that Goes with It" theme. So, without further ado, the menu:

Roasted duck with sage, garlic and mustard glaze
Rosemary cornbread
Spiced walnuts
cranberry pie

The movie event of the day is, so far, just one of my favorites of all time: Drop Dead Gorgeous (featuring Denise Richards' only acceptable role). I'm feeling like a theme will build as we go (I'm already thinking that maybe the duck thing is already related to Minnesota, since, it being one of my many homes, duck hunting is big there, and also referenced in the movie of choice). However, there has to be more than that (and maybe I should've made some bars or tater tot hot dish).

I think my excitement would only be slightly sad if I were doing this by myself, right?

And now, it's time to go running to prepare my stomach for the requisite calorie burning madness ... and buy some wine.

the song nigh time

I am definitely feeling that the time is upon me to write some more music. I feel the pull of something at the edge of happening ....

... on Betty White

My favorite quote of the day comes from my lovely friend Bart in France. We were discussing people being liked in spite of their looks, solely because of their personalities. I often argue it's only ever my personality that gets me dates (and that theory is pretty much what I believe most of the time). He seems to feel that if someone dates you, it automatically means that person thinks you're aesthetically "hot," so there's really no such thing as the statement "she's got a really great personality" leading to a date. Why? Well, it's logical:

"Betty White has personality, but nobody's trying to go down on her."

I don't know if I'm supposed to be comforted ... or feel bad for Betty White.

satifaction guaranteed

It's really true that when one area of life goes spectacularly well, some of the others suffer. Let me clarify, it's more that none of them are ever perfect (nor should they be. What would I write about?). But it's definitely a rule of the universe that when you start to get really incredible at your job and people come a-callin', and you finally get a steady core of some lovely, dependable friends (I think this is the first time in my life that exists, actually), and you start to convince (or maybe "dupe," but who cares what it is?) yourself with helpings of hope that you might be good at the whole love thing, but you really just haven't found the right person, the sketchy voice creeps back into your ear and makes you question everything.

I finished what was really an insignificant transcription project in the grander scheme of things yesterday, but felt really great, because it was challenging, I got immediate kudos (just on sight and a quick browse-through of the gigantic document) from the new client. And it proved I can still do really fantastic work and be incredibly skilled and impressive at my job, as silly and unaffective as parts of my job sometimes feel. And this project that I rocked is probably the beginning of a new professional work relationship that will really improve my life. I also just had a fairly great week with lots of pitches getting accepted for some fantastically fun and interesting articles. And on the social front, I've had some really good times (and more to come) with favorite friends.

Still, guess what I am I focusing on right now? Waking up this morning and discovering that someone who has been the least dependable person in my life for the past nine or so months after he exploded into it (but at times has very confusingly done some really big gesture things for me) and has sent my head and heart for a tailspin (but also sometimes has conversely also sky-rocketed both body parts into shiny places) and aggressively challenged my sanity and sometimes the things I know about myself sent me messages in the middle of the night when I finally thought he wouldn't dare anymore. The answer and response to him continues to be the same as the one I landed on after his last message a month and a half ago: I can't engage with someone that more often than not doesn't approach me like a human being (or at least most of the time chooses not to approach me in a human way), even if I've set a bad precedent and accepted that type of contact in the past against my better judgment. Still, sometimes (and perhaps a lot more than sometimes) I miss him ... a lot. And I secretly pull for him in a corner of my mind, hoping he'll miraculously overcome some of the social retardation -- which I've admittedly helped create -- as well as some deep truths I believe might prevent anything from changing, and emerge victorious.

The other part of me wants a sweep-me-off-my feet scenario from an entirely new contender that will just render this very intense problem powerless and irrelevant.

You can't please everyone.

it rains and pours on my new client blowout

The title of this entry is likely going to be far more interesting/creative than any of its contents. I'm in the midst of one of the types of workdays I've missed for over a year and a half: the extremely busy one. I started work with a new small business-y client today (initially, I'm doing some tele-class transcription for her), and it's a nice fit. I'm enjoying the opportunity to get better at a skill by flexing different muscles related to it (because I'm used to lately transcribing music industry professional/musician interviews). Who doesn't like to learn? I'm also really excited to be returning to where my small business skills all began -- working closely with someone that is training other people to be better entrepreneurs and business owners. Hello Old World, remember me? I used to make some money here.

Of course, on a day I was just supposed to have this one bulky thing, I ended up also getting a slew of pitches accepted (for the first time in a painfully long time) for one of my journalist gigs, which needed some attention today also. Ah, diversity and laundry lists of work-related tasks, how I've missed you!

And now, on my dinner break, here I am writing even more things. It's additional proof of what I've said many times before (but seem to always forget when I get particularly creatively blocked): Writing breeds more writing. The more I type ... well, the more ... I type (and want to type).