For the first time in my long history of watching Antiques Road Show in the privacy of my own home, I experienced a moment of acute awareness about my own penchant for behaving like an elderly person, and it's given me a pretty good chapter topic for my essay book. The gist of it I confessed to a certain special someone that I happened to be talking to while it was happening (and the approximate time of the admission was around the early hour of 8:15 p.m.):
"I just want you to take in this moment, because it will never be more spinstery than this (God, I hope not): I am on the couch eating a cookie in my pajamas while watching some woman get her doilies appraised."
I decided I'm going to call this practice (and I might also remind you, I have a cat) "spinstering." So, you heard it here, and it's the new "it" word. I'm pretty sure if it were 1984, it would be deemed a "Sniglet."
Incidentally, that woman's doilies appraised for $70,000. So, if you were having sex or even just making out with someone at that very same moment, you can just eat your cash-poor heart out!
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