Xanadu

I hadn't even seen the video for this song, and my first thought when this song (which I hadn't heard in a while) came up on Spotify was that someone needs to tell Goldfrapp that Xanadu wasn't really very cute (at best, it was laughable and drinking-game worthy):



If you have nothing new to say about the '80s, you probably shouldn't say it at all.

before a full week passes ...

I want to commit something to the page.

I've been losing motivation lately in all areas of life, save the area in which I discuss sit-coms from the '80s and actors who appeared in Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes.And of course, this soul paralysis always occurs when I need to get by act together the most and make some money.

I'm pretty tired of writing about the struggles of writing and inspiration. And you'd think this frustration would be enough to motivate me to do everything in my power to change what is lacking.

regrettably ...

While I make zero place in my life for regret or dwelling on what I perceive as the "good old days" (meaning, all unique experiences past, which were probably not as unique and magnificent in reality as I remember), there are some moments when I stop to think about all the things I will never again experience, and it is fairly depressing.

There are better things ahead (or at least that's what we all have to hope to continue on any semblance of an enjoyable path), but waxing philosophical on the previous thought is at the very least humbling.

make up your mind

The Title of this entry is also the title of the new song I just wrote. And funnily enough, while the song was really about an old situation that came back into my life briefly recently, upon seeing another old "situation" that I used to song-write about all the time (and who was the inspiration for Mister Badger in the first place) posting on Facebook about yet another career change ("No, really -- this time I've discovered my true calling. I am not meant to do [insert whatever I am currently doing for work here]."), I realized people who can't make up their minds -- about ANYTHING -- are a recurring theme in my life.

That's about it. It wasn't an epiphany, but it brought back all the frustration. Honestly, at least the people I've known who are floundering non-grown-ups have committed to being floundering non-grown-ups. I can somehow respect that a lot more. And, I never question what I'm getting.

My take on Lent

Lent: A second chance to fail at your most punishing and unreasonable New Year's resolutions.

Note: I believe in neither New Year's resolutions nor depriving oneself for Lent. Life is hard enough already! We should be adding on new experiences, trying new things and doing more of what makes us happy at every opportunity.

the effects of too much crime docu-drama

Is that even a category name? In my limited spare time lately, I've been watching way too many TV crime documentaries, which inevitably leads me to dream of a life as a true crime novelist or biographer.

But I think that's too much serious business, and I should get back to writing about the stranger-than-fiction hilarity of my own daily experience. (And yes, I am also wondering when that is going to happen exactly, as I've not exactly been too good on the creative writing front lately.)

I guess this is one more support for the fact that violence/depravity/etc. in movies, TV and video games does not create criminals, if the proper upbringing (is that what I would call it?) is there. As desensitized as I have become to horror/sci-fi/fake movie violence (I can eat meat with wild abandon during the most flesh-noshing part of a zombie film), I was happy to find my stomach still turned a bit when faced with descriptions of real, grisly crime scenes.

And, now, my next topic of discussion will be how unfortunate it is when you really want to make mean but hilarious comments about someone on Facebook, then realize you have to censor yourself because that person is your Facebook friend. What a shame ...

Things for which I'm Thankful

Even though it's hardly Thanksgiving season right now and things are not so easy that I'm "thankful" for the myriad challenges I'm facing (just to spice things up), I think I need to get in a "thankful" mindset or I'm going to drown in negativity. So, this is the short list I can muster at the moment. Some things on the list are immediate, others are on-going. And some are probably pretty stupid/materialistic, but they are keeping me sane.

1. The large array of fantastic (and not so fantastic) British television shows on Netflix.
2. My one steady client and great friend, who is keeping me in electricity, internet, phone and up with my mortgage (even if I'm falling behind in other areas).
3. The fact that one of my short-term contracted projects right now is transcription of a tele-seminar surrounding how to get better at sales from a genius business and life coach I would otherwise not be able to afford, and that this is my exact area of most struggle. (And I better use that gift, or I'm just stupid.)
4. Friends who put up with me even during this time when I feel incomplete and unable to give all I want to give, and who spoil me with little, kind acts of generosity and humor. (I need to better learn how to see these acts as "points of thankfulness," as often I think I miss them while waiting for the grander gestures from the people I want to help me, but who are probably not capable of giving.)
5. A more hopeful and thankful future. If it isn't coming, this intense time that sometimes sends me into moments of annoying despair and obnoxious self pity has no point.

Also, I need to add that I started out titling this "Things I'm Thankful for" in an attempt to be informal, which is the purpose of this blog. But it just pained my grammar sensibility too much, so I had to make it right. And that makes me annoyed by myself. I'll try to get over it.