negative comments

I have many "theme" blogs that I have started over the years, not surprisingly, many of which I have all but abandoned (or that I update very infrequently). One, which I deemed "Stuff Pretentious People Like" started out as a way to complain semi-anonymously about a rather "affected" person in my life who was driving me crazy (and whom I have since cut out). I haven't felt the ire rising in me lately to celebrate exaggerated affectations (much to my dismay, as it can be one of my favorite things to do), so I haven't come up with a post in a while. (And obviously these posts expanded to include observations about many people and trends in the world that are over the top, so you'd think there would be plenty for a diatribe. I have failed.)

However, every few months, someone bothers to leave a comment on the blog. What started out as kudos for a target well scathed has turned into being told I'm an evil, unkind and bitter person for making fun of annoying people and things that are apparently helpless -- because making fun of the fact that a 40-year old still brags loudly about SAT scores to belittle a first date or that someone is sporting a mustache that makes him look like a wildebeest just to get attention (because presumably there is nothing interesting enough on the inside) is apparently akin to drop kicking a puppy.

But you know what they say about opinions ... and arguing on the Internet ...

a transcriptionist's gripe

Something I learned about how people handle it when you ask them for revisions of a transcription you did of their interview and they are not used to hearing themselves talk (and are slightly embarrassed by the awkward way they think they've come across): They are prone to exaggeration of your "inaccuracies." When they send back revisions that say, "I went in and had to fix a slew of errors the transcriptionist made," they mean, "I had to go in in one spot and re-type in the name of that band no one has ever heard of that I completely mumbled that was last performing 30 years ago and thus has no online presence." I'm such a failure!

songwriting day

I've decided that if we don't go into the studio today to record (which is likely given what a crappy time we've had trying to get them to commit to the time we book/suggest be booked), I'm going to try to finish a song. I haven't written one in probably two years, and I'm finding that pretty unacceptable.

Also, in very unrelated news, I saw a guy at Barnes & Noble yesterday coming out of the bathroom with a coffee table book about romantic movie moments. My thoughts immediately wandered to the "toilet book" Seinfeld episode. Plus, I am pretty sure there is no sadder book he could've selected as bathroom reading.

Earnest Plans

Plans have begun in earnest to get this noveling show fully on the road by February 1st. I've set some real deadlines for myself in terms of shopping my novel around in 2012, and this is going to happen. I'm sure it will just make me pissed off at how easy it all is. I have to stop lamenting over the fact that my publishing deal fell through last year before it even really got going (though yes, it certainly was frustrating that I had the contract in hand), and just start going again.

So, my first deadline is Monday, January 23rd: a new query letter. I'm going to do it right this time.

I'm not allergic to work.

creative what-ing?

That describes my day. I couldn't find creativity if it was sitting on my face. I was really hoping to take advantage of a quick work slow down (which is sure to end in the next couple days) and do more than no writing work. At least I managed to change a few words in one of my creative essays yesterday.

Mister Badger goes into the studio again tomorrow. I'm hoping it will be more productive (and sound better vocally) than last time. My voice was not in good shape, and I didn't even realize it.

writing for fun

For the past few years, I've had near paralysis when it comes to just writing without concern for the finished product. I used to write just to see where characters or an idea might travel if I just started going and didn't stop until I had created something -- even if that something wasn't polished, great or didn't work out at all. That was really the original purpose behind this, because that's always how I wrote as a kid. And damn, I was prolific.

I think I need to step away from my structured projects and just write a story, without concern about whether or not it is expressing the many things I know I need to express about life, love and the things that are important to me before I die. We'll see if I can stick to that without putting restrictions on the process in the middle of it.

Monday morning writings, rantings and ant-resolutions

I think my tendency to beat myself up about how I don't keep this up regularly (and my tendency to continuously come back claiming I am going to be "better" about it "this time) is not unlike a New Year's resolution, which I REALLY don't believe in. So, I'm going to stop setting standards for myself. I'm just going to continue to do what I'm doing in hopes I will continue to be motivated at the right times to make enough money to survive (which I have BARELY been doing, but I'm not homeless yet, so ... success!) and try to be happier. I definitely don't want to follow the lead of friends I've seeing ruining my Facebook feed with lying-to-themselves-statements of how rice pasta and gluten-free muffins are better than either of their real counterparts (and how people who eat fruit or drink juice should just kill themselves for being evil and wrong). So, I won't (once again). I also still won't be saying, "You go, girl," or, as I'm seeing it has changed spelling now, "U go gyrllll" ... And that doesn't mean I'm a negative, pessimistic person or that I want other people to fail. And, I know there is at least one person out there who claims that I am sending secret messages about how much I hate myself and want to die by having a dark sense of humor about life. Get over it.

That being said, today I do plan to work on some creative writing, as I'm at the "in between" point where I have to wait for the groundwork I've done to get new clients (at least for the next few days) to turn into something real, and I shouldn't be watching so much Netflix while I wait. The book of essays is calling my name, as are my three other novels. But, I think I'll approach this reasonably and not set any harsh goal for how many words I should complete before midnight (and it's hard to do that, because I always do it inside my head even when I claim "out loud" that I won't). I have enough pressure to deal with.

I read this anti-resolution article this morning by Charlie Brooker of The Guardian, and while most of the article was not about the ridiculousness of resolutions (rather observations about the ridiculousness of humankind and pop culture in general), it reinforced all my belief about the New Year and reminded me of why I'm annoyed that my running routes are always clogged from January-March (which is the month the last people clinging to their resolve finally give up each year).

The supposed "magic" of the calendar flipping over isn't going to make anyone suddenly become radically different. Change happens a little at a time, and people need to stop living life like it's an endless series of painful boot camps.

organized?

I think it's that time again (it happens about every three months) where I claim I'm going to get better about writing something creative (or at least "craft"y) daily, do it for a few days, then give up again.

(Yes, that's really all I have to say, but, as I've said before, at least it's something.)